Approved

We got an email today from my case manager about the house. Know what it said? The home modifications we submitted to insurance are going to be covered 100%!

After having to wait for two months to hear back about whether or not insurance would pay for the modifications necessary for the house to accommodate my disability, we were relieved and elated to hear today they will cover all we asked them for! We had been worried because there was always a good chance they would only accept a portion of what we proposed (or flat out deny us all of it).

With this new development, not only has an enormous weight been lifted off our shoulders, but we’re one big step closer to finally having a house! The fundraiser that our dear friends put on for us is now in the second phase – check out the latest update on homeforlane.com.

Thank you so much for your faithful prayers. God has been teaching us a lot through our circumstances – the easy ones and the tough ones. He’s been teaching but we haven’t always been learning. Would you pray for our humility and contentment in whatever God gives us (or doesn’t give us)? I guess it’s hard to learn if you don’t think you need to…

Peace out,
Lane

Work

When our accident happened, I was just twenty-one years old with only a few “real” jobs under my belt: I had done plenty of work in my life, but only had three jobs that required me to fill out a tax form. Because of this, I didn’t earn enough work credits then to qualify for disability income now.
We’re so thankful for Emily’s job as a nurse, because God has provided for us through it. But we really don’t prefer that she’s our only source of income. I want to work. I miss working for us. Emily is remarkable at being a selfless wife and mother in addition to being the breadwinner, she’s just great. But that’s an awful lot to ask of anybody, especially considering that she also does the majority of my care.  For all these reasons, I’ve been looking (unsuccessfully) for work for the past couple of years.
A physical disability as severe and extensive as mine obviously limits the options for employment; I can’t do anything that requires arms, legs or lots of talking. My physical limitations wouldn’t be as much of an issue if they were offset by a marketable education. But, though I don’t feel insufficiently educated, beyond high school I only have an unaccredited Bible degree to my name.
I’m not posting this to complain, but to present my situation with honesty and humbly ask if you know of any jobs I might be qualified for. I can skillfully write, edit, and proofread; words are my thing, and I know how to handle them well. I have also been learning the basics of website design via WordPress, and am willing and able to do or learn anything else computer-or-word-related, online or offline.
I realize my list of skills isn’t very impressive, but if you have or know of any sort of work I could do, would you please contact me? My email address is lanebargeron@gmail.com, or you can send us a message on Facebook.
Love you guys.
Lane

Walkie-Talkie

Folks, our daughter walks. I use the term “walk” loosely, because she hasn’t quite figured out how to effectively use her hips yet. It’s more of an unsteady duck-footed march, endearingly hilarious to watch. There’s simply no stopping her now. She’s a tiny toddling bulldozer scooping up and trying to eat anything she can get her hands on.
Her vocabulary portfolio has also increased exponentially since I last wrote. In addition to her ever-increasing arsenal of animal sounds she says please, thank you, Pops (my dad), Papa (Emily’s dad), Daddy, Mommy, sings Jesus Loves Me (“Yeth, eeth, mee!”), and a hundred other things I won’t bore you by listing.
Speaking of speaking, Emily and I have been sobered and almost a little intimidated to see just how closely Nyra pays attention and copies us. As any parent can testify, it’s amazing and uncanny how a tiny pair of eyes and ears can put us on our best behavior whenever they’re around. Being a parent means being an example. Our girl is going to do what we do whether we like it or not. We’re so thankful that Jesus, the Ultimate Example, is also Jesus the Graceful Enabler, because it’s evident that in our own strength we couldn’t teach her anything but two-faced selfishness. For that reason we’re thankful that Jesus is our life and salvation and everlasting hope. Emily and I pray every day that Nyra will know Him as this from a young age, as we were blessed to do.
We’re finding that as we’re raising our child, God is raising us, His children. When Nyra looks me right in the eye and deliberately disobeys me, her earthly father, it’s a tiny picture of my natural bent to do the same to my heavenly Father. But likewise, the time I enjoy snuggling with her while she drinks her milk before bed reminds me that I can call God “Daddy” and find rest in Him because of what Christ accomplished on the cross.
Thank You Jesus for making me a daddy. Thank you Jesus for giving me Your Daddy.

House Update

We realized last night it’s been a long time since we’ve posted anything about our house. I’ll give a quick update: we’re building!

We always knew it’d be most ideal to build a house, but were ultimately turned off by the greater cost and the sheer logistics of it all. So for months we searched for an already-built home we’d be able to modify, but found there are few if any sufficient to meet our unique needs. Recently however, a local builder reached out to offer his services at a greatly discounted price. A group of our friends have also come together to assist us with much of the logistical side of things, also providing us with their skills and services for a fraction of what they’re worth.

Between the fundraiser, the discounts, and what Michigan no-fault auto insurance will assist us with, Emily and I are able to see this home as more of an attainable reality than ever before!

Our long search for a house has now become a search for land on which to build a house. We’re so very thankful for all the help we have received and are receiving with what we quite simply would otherwise be unable to do on our own. To God be the glory!

More than you can handle

When Emily and I got in an accident with a semi truck, it left me with a traumatic brain injury. When all of our life plans were shattered in a split second, my view of God was changed. The God I once thought I had all figured out turned out to be much bigger than I’d been giving Him credit for. He showed me the woeful insufficiency of the little box I’d made for Him. Before our accident, I was convinced God would never give me more than I could handle because He loved me. After our accident, when I became unable to control my body or talk like I used to, I’ve become convinced  that God has given me more than I can handle precisely because He loves me. God loves me – and you – enough to use hard things to push us into the best place we could possibly be: His loving embrace.
In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul said God gave him “thorn in the flesh”. He called it “a messenger from Satan sent to torment me – to keep me from exalting myself.” It’s unclear what specifically Paul was referring to, but based on the context, and what we’re told of his life in the book of Acts, it’s safe to assume he was given some sort of physical infirmity. Many scholars believe it was blindness, others speculate it may have been a speech disorder or chronic pain. We aren’t told for certain, but Paul said he pleaded with God three times to take away whatever it was. God answered with these words: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God gave Paul more than he could handle to show His great, sufficient grace to Paul, and to others through Paul.

Sometimes God does give us more than we can handle, but it’s a far greater gift than any sort of physical security or tangible luxury. He gives us hard things so we can better see His grace. He gives us more than we can handle so we have no choice but to fall into the safety of His arms. The little phrase “God will never give you more than you can handle” originates from 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says that God won’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we’re able to resist. He will never put us in a situation where sin is the only option, but He will put His children in situations where His strength shines beautifully through our weakness.

What a grace it is to be given more than you can handle.

Valentine’s Day’s Eve

Alright, so I (we) really want to thank all you folks who were involved with this past Saturday’s benefit dinner. For those of y’all who hadn’t heard, between the dinner and the silent auction, over $7,000 was raised! That is tremendous, you guys. There is a list of names, the length of which I’m sure even we don’t know, full of people who contributed to that night in some way. Whether it was with coordination,  organization, donating items/services for the auction, serving food, washing dishes, babysitting or something else, you know who you are and what you did and we genuinely thank you. We didn’t expect we’d receive that much, but that’s what we were given. Man, guys. Thank you. Really seeing this house as a reality now!

More blogging to come. Stay tuned.

Lane (for my little ladies)

Us Lately

Man, it sure has been  a while since our last non-house update. As you know, we’re stoked about and staggered by the amount of time, money, effort and love that’s gone into this fundraiser. We wish we could somehow thank each of you in person who’ve contributed. You’ve blown us away and we’re grateful.

I think it’s about time we let you all know how we’re doing. Mainly Nyra, because she’s the cutest of our little Bargeron trio (let’s be real. She’s the main attraction these days anyway). For those who didn’t hear, she became a one-year-old last month. That’s right, a whole year! Gone are the months of infantile serenity and sleepy submission; our daughter is a crawling, grabbing, squealing roly poly of energy and love. We’re still pretty young and nimble (I’m young and Emily’s nimble) but Nyra puts us both to shame with her speed. Emily will put her on the floor with some toys, and before we can blink twice she’ll be gone: pulling dishes out of cupboards, finding cords to chew on, splashing in the (clean) potty water, and wreaking adorable havoc across the whole of our little apartment. It’s so cool watching her learn and discover things for the very first time. Little things we don’t even think about, like how carpet feels different than wood, how putting a cup over your mouth makes your voice sound different, how Mommy sings much better than Daddy and that some things taste different than others. Speaking of taste, we do not have a picky eater. Nyra eats pretty much whatever we throw at her (figuratively and literally), from salmon to olives to spinach to black beans.

This proud daddy is also an undeserving husband. My Emily (a close second to Nyra in the Cutest Bargeron contest) just got a Per Diem job as a nurse at a nearby hospital. She’ll be working with patients like me on the rehab floor. This woman is amazing. The things I can’t physically do for Nyra, she takes care of with supermommy ability, with a strength and grace we both know can only come through Jesus Christ. She feeds Nyra (and me) her deliciously cooked food, she changes poopy diapers (not too upset I can’t do that) she gets up in the night when Nyra cries, and she takes care of the physical side of Nyra’s discipline.

Discipline is something we’re finding Nyra needs more of every day, and it reminds us that parenting takes work, just like marriage does. It’s a wonderful blessing and a whole lot of fun, but it’s not a free ride. We could just cruise (and too often do), hoping things turn out alright, but we realize there’s a difference between parenting and just being parents. We would be doing Nyra a disservice if we let her do whatever she wanted, just as we’d do ourselves a disservice by chasing after our every fancy and whim. We only find lasting satisfaction and true happiness in Jesus, and Emily and I are working in His strength to teach Nyra the freedom of this submission someday.

So there are my girls. As for me, the happy man between these two beautiful ladies, I’m still doing outpatient rehab 2-3 days a week and lots of therapy at home. We’re really thankful for the agency that provides me with caregivers to help me with daily activities I can’t do without help (which I guess is just about everything). They also take me to therapy and anywhere else I want to go, so I’m often out running errands Emily doesn’t have time for. Otherwise I’m a big reader, and, in case you couldn’t tell, really enjoy being a husband and father.

That’s us for now. Till next time.

Lane (for my honeys)

Growing Girl

Know what’s crazy? Our daughter is eight months old! She says “dada” and “mumum” now, steals our hearts with gummy two-toothed grins, and grabs anything she can reach (including Daddy’s watch and Mommy’s hair). We love watching her feed herself little snacks while she sits up all by herself.

Emily is all-in when it comes to being a mom, and I love watching her take care of our baby girl, when it’s fun and when it’s exhausting. Emily unintentionally created, but now faithfully upholds, an after-dinner ritual of playing “Where’s Mama?” while Nyra squeals in my lap.

Daddy loves snuggling with Nyra when she feels like staying put (a rarity lately, making it extra nice when it does happen). She can’t decide if my wheelchair is an extension of my body or a jungle gym for her climbing pleasure. I don’t mind, because either way it’s adorable. Some days it’s really hard not being able to pick her up and toss her in the air or tickle her pudgy little tummy or read her books in silly voices – things I thought were required of every good father before I became one myself. As much as these unmet expectations hurt, I know objectively and hold on to the truth that fatherhood isn’t about what a man is or isn’t able to do – but rather about what he chooses to do with what he has.  I can either choose to (and too often do) despair in the hardship of my family’s circumstances, or I can acknowledge the reality of our circumstances and how small and fleeting they are compared to the glory of what awaits us in our certain future with Christ in heaven (Romans 8:18, 2 Corinthians 4:17)

I’m still plodding along in therapy three days a week, making small gains and trying to stay encouraged, though progress is slow. We’re looking forward to seeing my parents soon, as they fly up in mid-September. It’s sure to be a time of fun, hopefully some conversation, and definitely much Nyra-spoilage.

Thank you all for reading and praying! 

Lane (for Emily and Nyra too)     

           

                    Our precious gift

            Enjoying family time this summer with both sides. Lots of girl cousins and aunts and uncles!! Tons of laughter and fun. 

   

Transition (written by Lane)

Well, we no longer live in a hospital or even an inpatient rehab facility. We’re on our own at last, after fourteen incredibly trying months of near-constant supervision, intensive all-day therapy, and institutionalized food. Alone at last, and in a place of our own for the first time since we got married, really. Yet we’re still every day faced with the reality of my injury. There’s an awful lot I want to do, but can’t still. And now I can’t help but remember back to last year when I just knewI would victoriously walk out the doors of Mary Free Bed (the rehab hospital I was at for almost 8 ½ months) carrying my bride in my arms. Then when that didn’t happen, I decided it would be Hope Network where I’d learn to walk again. And now here we are, out of Hope, Free Bed, and any inpatient facilities at all. In our own apartment and I’m still wheelchair-bound with limited arm/hand movement and a largely weak and monotone voice. Emily and I have been experiencing a practically innumerable amount of physical transitions the past fourteen months, which have all been exciting, but we’ve also been experiencing a great deal of spiritual growth, which I think is far more exciting. I suppose I could use the word “transitions” again, but this time in regards to thinking. Because with each big physical transition has also come a significant mental one. As I mentioned, last summer I was just convincedI’d be healed before the year’s end. So much so that I couldn’t stand the thought of this injury taking more than a few months to heal. I couldn’t bear hearing stories of people with TBis who were five, eight, ten or even thirty years out from their initial traumas and still weren’t totally back to the way they had been pre-injury. In fact, that thought bothered me so much that I would cringe whenever it was brought up. But over time, I’ve become convinced through the undeniable evidence that this is most likely going to be the case for me as well. And over time, I’ve become convinced through God’s objectively true Word that this likelihood is quite alright.  There’s a whole mess of truth in the Bible to convince me of this. For starters, there’s James 1:2-4, which basically tells Christians to think of difficult situations with joy because the trying and testing of our faith produces patience/endurance. And as Christians allow patience to work in our lives, it matures us(I realize the version in that link says “make you perfect”, but the Greek  translated “perfect” essentially means “mature”). So based on that passage, I know and am fully confident that, if I allow Him, God’s going to use this trial/test in my life (for however long He desires) to mature me and make me more like Christ Himself! A similar truth is found in Romans 5:1-4. Essentially, Paul is saying here that one of the extraordinary benefits of entering into a personal relationship with God through faith alone in Jesus Christ alone is that when you do, you not only have objective peace with God, you can also rejoice in suffering! What a paradox this is, joy in trials, rejoicing in suffering. Yet it’s objectively true, and one of the countless things in the Christian life that literally are only possible through Christ (Philippians 4:13). So, this post more or less sums up the mental transition Em and I’ve been going through this year. Not because we’re great people or super-Christians, but simply because we know God intimately through His Son Jesus Christ, and believe all His words are true regardless of our earthly circumstances.  

Facebook Statuses from the Week of the Accident

Below are some Facebook statuses from the night of our accident that we have saved over the years.

PLEASE pray for my brother and sister in law Lane and Emily. They were in a serious car accident tonight. Emily is ok, and my brother Lane is undergoing brain surgery right now. Please pray.

12/26/12 Graham Bargeron

As I sit at my precious husband’s bedside with nurses/docs swarming about I am incredibly amazed at what God is doing and has already done through Lane and I’s traumatic accident yesterday. Lane is and will continue to be on major sedation following his surgery last night (to decrease brain swelling). We’ll find out the next several days once they wean him off the ventilator how well he’s able to breath himself at this point initially. I as Lane’s wife and best friend have never felt so vulnerable and helpless in my life. The doctors and nurses (and our parents) here have taken incredible care of both of us and see to it that all our needs are met though, for which I am eternally grateful. With only pain/anti nausea meds on board for me at this time (staples placed in my head/ scrapes & bruising all over), I am more grateful than ever to be here for my incredible husband at this time. Your prayers don’t go unheard, please continue in the days to come as Lane is here in the Hospital. Boldly approaching the throne of grace today,

Emily (for my incredible fighter Lane, too)


PS. We’re especially grateful for the Bruce’s that came and sat with us yesterday at the hospital in OH until our parents could come. It meant so much to have someone at my side that knew and loved us following the most frightening moment of my life.

12/27/12 Emily Bargeron

Just sang several songs Lane loves and read scripture out loud to my precious husband. He remains in an induced coma of sorts, with vitals remaining stable..which will be important as he’s weaned off sedation tomorrow. Praising God for EVERY step. Thanks for your continued prayers, especially tomorrow. I’m feeling much better and will have my staples removed in 10 days. An example of my incredible husband’s creativity: We always place our car trip food/coolers in front of my feet on the passenger side. The person that removed me from the car said my legs could have been crushed were it not for everything between my feet and the front of the car. My husband is so smart. And God is SO good!

12/28/12 Emily Bargeron

In a matter of minutes Lane’s sedation will begin to very slowly be turned down. We so desperately need your prayers. Praising God how far we’ve gotten thus far.

12/29/12 Emily Bargeron

Third day prayer. Thanks Lord for everything you have done for Lane and Emily . I just pray tomorrow when the doctors wake him up we could be successful. And also dear Father I just pray that we can get a 100% Lane back. Also thanks Lord you let the whole family stay strong and support each other, especially Emily, never seen a lady would stay as strong as her after all these happened. I also pray that Lord you can give my parents and the Davis’ peace , and hopefully Lane could get better soon and stay out of the pain. Jesus name AMEN!

12/29/12 Jason (Bargeron) Xu

Sitting here in the peace God has granted in Lane’s room. He has been breathing on his own for a short while with the help of CPAP. We have seen his hands and head move several times and are so grateful for every small movement. We will provide more updates later on – but for now we are encouraged that he will be waking up one day soon.

12/30/12 Gary Bargeron (Dad)

Words cannot begin to express how grateful I am for all of your prayers tonight and in the days to come. My baby is sleeping well with no medicated sedation, just pain control (brain swelling and leftover meds in system=lots of sleepiness, which he needs at this point). Praying he’ll sleep well tonight so tomorrow we can see more movements (hands and legs moved today). Taking this journey one moment at a time, and finding God’s grace more sufficient than ever.

Standing forever proudly by my man until we leave this place together,

Emily

12/30/12 Emily Bargeron

Fifth day prayer. Dear Father thank you so much you gave the whole family peace. Let the whole family get through the hard time. Thanks Lord you gave us a good year even though we got hard time but the reminds us to keep praying and serving you. Thanks Lord you let Lane and Emily to be strong and fight this. I just pray for the new year my brother could get better and better, and hopefully we can get a 100%Lane back. Lord I also pray for all the people who helped us just hope they can have a nice year and we really appreciate all your helping and prayers. I also pray for mom and dad, I pray they could have a good New Year Eve in Ohio and hopefully we could get some good news from them tonight! And Jesus name AMEN! Happy New Year We are good here with everyone’s help!

12/31/12 Jason (Bargeron) Xu

Lane did so great today. Was off sedation from morning on throughout the whole day. He is fighting hard. He has pneumonia that they are treating but its causing some trouble with the ventilator and all. It’s so difficult to watch him try to cough up all the gunk in his lungs with the ventilator down his throat, but he’s been doing so wonderfully. Emily has been beside him to wipe every tear and to wipe away every bead of sweat. It’s beautiful to see. He has not been able to completely wake up yet, but we are definitely getting closer. He tried so hard today but just couldn’t quite make it. No big deal. We will all be there tomorrow to root him on again. Once he is fully awake all the tubes and wires are going to be really bugging him so it’s probably good he’s not fully awake yet.

12/31/12 Beth Bargeron (Mom)

I’ve continuously been reminded of the NTBI Waukesha’s Presidents chapel the past couple days. He shared that the ONLY thing that went through his mind as his family was torn apart in their accident was Isaiah 43: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. …When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. “For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” Praising God for the truth of his word today. And recognizing more with each day as I sit beside my Lane the vitality of FILLING my mind with scripture. SO looking forward to another day beside my man.

1/2/13 Emily Bargeron