Are you frightened by the future?

As I sat in my monthly meeting with Lane’s social worker here at Hope, I pondered this question. “Yes, in some ways,”  I immediately replied. To be honest there were more than just a few frightening aspects of our future going through my head. The lack of Lanes major physical gains, me needing to be the main bread winner when just last year one of my greatest desires was to be a stay at home mom and wife, countless medical bills that need to be paid (and hopefully will be paid by Our no fault auto insurance), having to leave Lane in the hands of strangers everyday that I work (strangers that we trust:)…just to list a few. Then I thought some more. The truth of the matter is, we don’t even know what tomorrow, or next month will hold. And although we have so many things for which we could very easily worry or be anxious about, it does us no good and only hardens our hearts towards the countless irreplaceable things that Christ desires to teach us in this valley.

So as soon as I told lanes social worker the things that frighten me about the future, I finished by saying “Wait. I can’t just sit here and tell you the things that worry us about tomorrow or 10 years from now. I’m sure I could go all day listing those things, as could you. Lane and I have found that we must dwell on what we know is true today and will be tomorrow or in 100 years from now. Christ and his infallible word is our only certainty in this life, regardless of our circumstances. Because we’ve chosen to hold on to this truth, this accident that in the worlds eyes has taken so much from us, has only been a treasure that Has caused us to cling to this precious truth, the certainty of Christ.”

And yes, on many days this is easier said than done. But on the days we are anxious or discontent or upset at why in the world we are where we are today, God quietly and gently reminds us through his word and the Holy Spirit that He is all we need in this fleeting life.

Lord, teach us to look to you for our satisfaction and peace today.


PS. Not sure that I made it evident in this post, but we are SO grateful for the social worker (that I had this convo with) Lane has here at Hope. She is the best he has had by FAR and we are amazed and encouraged at her thoughtfulness and care for us as a couple.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


“The Lord is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

God’s word is a precious breath of fresh air every moment of every day, but the past couple days we’ve clung to passages like these as we were thrust into hospital mode once again. Lane was discharged from St. Mary’s around 3:30 yesterday afternoon, stone free and able to pee. As is common after the surgical removal of a kidney stone, he had some difficulties voiding immediately after the procedure so a catheter was placed on Friday night. Saturday it was removed and they ensured his ‘pipes’ were working independently before he left. Once we got back to Hope though, he couldn’t go again. So his urologist said he needs a catheter again placed for a few more days to allow the urinary tract spasms to subside. So at about 9p last night Lane was very gratefully relieved once again. There is nothing like having a full bladder and not being able to empty it.

Taking it real easy today and spending more precious time together in God’s word. Our only true peace, certainty, and hope as our feeble physical bodies are ill or well.

Thank you for continuing to lift us up in prayer. It’s been a very long 12+ months of being away from our earthly ‘home’, but in all honestly its given us a greater perspective and longing for our true residence with Christ.

Resting in the all sufficient arms of our Savior today,


Baclofen trial postponed

After much vomiting, nausea and stomach/flank pain last night, Lane was once again admitted to St. Mary’s at about 2 am this morning. They discovered a large kidney stone that needed to pass and decided to admit him for monitoring for 24-48 hours, as his vitals were pretty high throughout the morning. Within a few hours Lane’s urologist stopped by and said his stone was so large he recommended getting it removed via ureteroscope and that he could do it within a few hours! Lane decided to go with this removal procedure, which his surgeon said was the smart way to go especially with his history of kidney problems. Within half hour of having the stone removed, his vitals were back to his baseline and are staying there! We are SO grateful that this hospital stay has not been related to infection. We covet your continued prayers though. Join us in praying there will be no further complications and that no further stones will form. And that we’ll both get GOOD rest tonight. Neither of us slept until about 4 am today once Lane was ‘settled’ into his room at the ER.

 Because of all this the baclofen pump trial has been postponed, we’ll find out next week until when.

 So grateful to be at my courageous man’s today. He has been through so so much.  As lane reminded me once again last night, “God knows, we will trust.”


One year out of the (Cleveland) ICU

One year ago today I kissed Lane goodbye as he was wheeled onto an ambulance for the last time…we were LEAVING  the Cleveland St. John ICU and headed to MICHIGAN! At that point we still had no idea if or when he would talk, move, or what his level of cognitive function would be. Praising God for all that has taken place this past year!! Below is a portion of my journal entry to Lane that day.

“It’s been 20 days since our accident and just over 2 hours ago I waved goodbye to you on your ambulance back to Michigan! Praising God and rejoicing in His hand for where He’s brought you since the most frightening night of my life as they were unsure you’d live through brain surgery. Each day since has been a walk of faith for me as I’ve wept and struggled with why this would happen to us, but God has faithfully held me, strengthened me, and given me peace as I’ve walked each moment. Yesterday was a huge milestone as you laughed, smiled, and cried for the first time. You laughed at one of your techs, Rosita as she sang to you and called you ‘her chalupa:)’ Your expression of emotion is a beautiful gift to me. How I long to hear your voice. The trach will hopefully be coming out soon! “

Remembering and rejoicing today,


ITB Pump trial this Friday!

Lane had a great week of therapy this past week, it had been awhile since he had a full week stretch with Christmas and New Year’s. We are SO grateful for the break (emotionally and physically) we were able to have though!

Over this weekend we spent time with Lane’s aunt, uncle, and cousin from Nebraska, which was a ton of fun. His Aunt Eve was the one that ran the 40 mile run on her 40th birthday for Lane’s continued rehab support . What a wonderful blessing! Last night we also had fun going to “Peter Pan” with some of my family, a production done by Grand Rapids HPA (the homeschool drama group that my sister and brother had been in throughout highschool). Since we were in GR this morning we decided to go to Calvary church, which is conveniently down the road from Hope. We were greatly challenged and encouraged with the worship and message from 1 Peter 3. An extra fun perk was running into old friends (the Malone’s) and missionaries from FBC in Saint John’s (the Johnsons)!

We are wishing we had about 3 more days to add to this weekend (they are never long enough!!) but are excited to take on another week. A couple prayer points to please keep in mind–

1. Diligence for the road that’s before us today and trust in God’s good, perfect plan in the days to come.

2. Lane’s therapies

3. Emily’s job/travel safeties

4. This Friday Lane will have an Intrathecal Baclofen pump trial (injection) to see if the baclofen pump is something that will be of assistance with his increased tone and spasticity. If he reacts positively to this injection (show decreased spasticity that day), we’ll go ahead with the pump whenever they can get him in (in a month or so). We are praying he will be able to have it placed, as all his therapists are thinking it will assist with his progression in therapies (at least not having to fight tone to actively move). **The actual ITB pump is a surgically implanted programmable pump that goes directly into the intrathecal space around the spinal cord.

Thank you for praying, always. Have a wonderful week,


Why we’re starting this blog

Lane and I have been wanting to make the switch from Facebook to more of a blog for awhile now. Why you may ask? Primarily because don’t want people to have to have a Facebook account  in order to receive updates, but we’re also tired of all the notifications etc that goes along with every post. So this is where we’ll be posting any updates from now on, however often (or not so often:) that may be. I’ll post it on our FB page but please pass it on to those you may know who may be interested in continuing to hear from/ pray for us. We won’t be deleting the FB page for awhile because I want to compile all the posts into a journal eventually.

Thank you for your continued prayer, encouragement, and support as we take on this road one moment at a time.

 Looking to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith,

lane and emily