This photo was taken shortly after we were married in 2012. Only the Lord knew how the next 11 years would look for us as we eagerly prayed for, hoped, and dreamed of what it would hold. I was working as a new nurse, Lane was going to pursue his TESL degree, we both had just finished Bible school and were so excited to get overseas to share the most precious story of our Rescuer with those who haven’t had a chance to hear. 

God had other plans.

This past weekend we took our three kids to Mackinaw for the first time where we captured this most recent photo.  The differences between these two pictures encapsulate some of the best and the most difficult changes that life can hold. With weary & fumbling hearts it’s taken us this long to see that because of two of these changes (kiddos + Lanes injury) we’ve grow in some of the richest & most rewarding ways as we’ve learned our utter dependency upon our Creator and that life is most worthwhile when we allow Him to carry, satisfy, and sustain us in it. We are slowly learning to rest in the truth that His ways truly are higher than ours. Just one example of this is that I didn’t want anything to do with the idea of having a caregiver/stranger in our home every day when Lane’s injury first happened…but we just as quickly discovered we cannot sanely do life without them with Lane’s 24/7 needed care. God pried open my hands that were so tightly clinging to the false securities of control and self sufficiency and has in turn shown us that He will bring people to us — every day — that we have the opportunity to point to Him. In our highest highs and lowest lows they watch us take on and respond to life — how we choose or choose not to repent & forgive, be slow to anger, and give grace when it’s needed most. It’s a daily & moment by moment opportunity with 3 young, loud, and very busy kids that we wouldn’t trade for the world. In His goodness He’s even brought multiple college students from across the globe & various countries that we never would have had the chance to share Jesus with otherwise. We’ve got so much growing to do but are learning to be grateful for & make the most of these opportunities nonetheless. Whether back in 2012 or now in 2023 in very different circumstances, we see our unchanging gracious Father at work and pray you’ll look for the ways He is too. With these things in mind I’ll close with a hymn that’s encouraged, strengthened, and given Lane and I so much hope over the years. 

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine with 10,000 beside

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

When we were engaged and newly married Lane and I spent as much time as we could discussing and taking on our love for the outdoors…hiking, boating, camping, running, fishing, boiling water over a campfire for a piping-hot freshly pressed cup of coffee. We eagerly talked of the life we looked forward to ahead — together — and how it would be a dream to travel and maybe even camp in an area surrounded by mountains one day. 

10 years that included one severely life-altering injury, 13 months of inpatient hospital stays, multiple surgeries, and 3 kids later, Lane thoughtfully reminded me of this dream late last year. A desire that I haven’t forgotten but chose to not bring up because I wanted the Lord to first put it on his mind. Lane has enough daily reminders of what his shackled (physical) body can no longer do without me bringing up one more. To put it lightly, I was overjoyed but extremely skeptical — how in the world would we find something that was within our budget and accessibility needs?

Thanks to Google and other quadriplegics that have camped and explored accessible trails around the US before us, the Lord allowed us to find an area in Pigeon Forge, TN with an accessible cabin (no we didn’t actually camp but Lane says that’s next:) and several beautiful accessible hiking trails/mountain lookouts nearby. God opened so many doors —from where we stayed, to the time of year we were able to go (literally an 8 hour color tour both ways), to a caregiver being available to come and assist as needed for the days we were there. It also couldn’t have happened without family & friends that were able to care for our kids.

The Lord was so kind to pave the way for this trip earlier this month and we couldn’t be more thankful that He allowed it to come to fruition…the year we celebrate 10 years of marriage but also 10 years of Lane’s life post-accident in December. As we look back we may just be starting to be able to express our gratitude for the things He’s taught us in the thorny & harsh valleys, but we truly believe it’s because of these valleys that the mountaintop experiences (literally and figuratively) have been 100x more beautiful. We’ve seen Him prove Himself faithful time and again in the darkest valleys and most glorious mountaintops, but we truly believe without both the valleys and the mountains, our finite view of His faithfulness, mercy, and grace would not be what it is today. 

We’re thankful that He promises to finish the work he’s begun in us and rejoicing in the truth that the best is yet to come. Someday, whether it’s here or in our eternal home, Lane and I WILL get to explore God’s creation & mountaintops together undeterred by roots, hills, rough hiking paths and the need for accessibility. We’re also eternally grateful for your unceasing prayer & encouragement, dear friends. For walking with and beautifully caring for us as we feebly depend upon the One who’s carried & sustained us every moment the past 10 years. We need it just as greatly as we did day 1. By his grace we’ve had 10 years of learning through failure, dependency, and unexpected blessings and we pray for many more. 

Looking to Jesus together,

Emily

It was a hard day yesterday as we experienced one of the first realities of the new Auto No Fault law firsthand. The past 9 years Lane’s homecare agency has covered the expenses of sending a caregiver with us on trips out of state. This has allowed Lane to receive the care he needs while I am able to have a respite & tend to the kiddos (Lane is the first to acknowledge the necessity of this). We didn’t fully acknowledge this provision as the blessing that it was until now.

The new law that took effect July 1st reduced how much Lane’s homecare agency can receive from insurance by 45%, so they’re understandably needing to save in whatever ways they can with the very difficult reality that they’ll have to close their doors by the end of the year. Because of this, they won’t be able to cover lodging, transportation or travel expenses like they have in the past for caregivers. Our hearts grieve for their (and our) loss & what will take place if changes aren’t made by Michigan lawmakers.

Since Lane & I first started dating, travelling & exploring new areas have been some of our favorite things to do together and it will forever be one of our highest priorities to travel down to NC every year to see Lane’s family & friends we’ve grown to love, however it may look.

As I stood over the (anticipated) text that stated the agency won’t be able to cover these caregiver expenses any longer, tearfully trying to wrap my mind around how we’ll be able to (sanely) travel anywhere out of state in the years to come, God faithfully reminded me that He’s been the one equipping and providing all along and absolutely won’t cease now, even if it looks differently.

If anything these earthly circumstances have already shown that we’re needing to run to our all-sufficient Creator in dependence & acknowledgement that we need Him to be the provider of ALL that we truly need in this life. Today we’re laying these things at His feet & choosing to recount all that He HAS done & will continue to do, knowing that He is fully able and will work as He sees fit. And as bleak & uncertain as the future may look as we consider Lane’s caregiving needs, we can rest in the One who’s held & sustained us from the beginning.

We covet your continued prayer as we navigate these difficult changes in the months to come, friends.

-Emily

Isaiah 26:3-4
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You.

Our house is coming together like a puzzle assembled by an old man on a rainy day: speedy and meticulous. I’m no expert on house building (nor have I ever been anything remotely close to “handy”), but it doesn’t take a professional to see that fantastic work is being done. The framing is finished, roofing is complete, doors and windows are in place, and the electrical work is in progress. Siding will go up soon, after which our new home will start to take shape on the inside. I’m not entirely certain what will happen when, but as I said, I’m no expert, so we’re just enjoying watching things move along. As we steadily approach the estimated completion date (they’re saying early August), some thoughts come to mind, namely, what is this house and what is it not?

We know this house is a gift from God, we can’t say it isn’t (Psalms 24:1, James 1:17). But in acknowledging it as a gift we recognize that this house is not a reward. But after all we’ve been through, don’t we deserve a little bit of luxury? Haven’t we earned this? I think we both have asked ourselves those questions, but the answer to both is unequivocally no. Here’s what I mean: we don’t deserve anything, but God has given us everything we need. What we need isn’t always what we want, just as what we want isn’t always what we need, but God knows best and we would do well to trust Him and find rest in that fact.

Secondly, the situation God has placed us in doesn’t make us any better or worse or more special than any of His children. We don’t fully understand why He wants us where we are, but we know He is good (Psalms 107:1, Psalms 145:9), that He is wise (1 Corinthians 1:25, Proverbs 3:19), knows what’s best (Job 1:21, Isaiah 55:9) and what He does is for our good (Rom 8:28).

Another thing this house is not, is the end of the battle. I mean that in two ways: first because a disability like mine, though technically possible to improve with enough time and hard work, is a lifelong thing. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, because a permanent and comfortable dwelling place opens up a whole new set of temptations for us as a family. Now that we have the option to live in comfort and ease, the desire to sit back and cruise through life is becoming less vague and more of a reality. Not that comfort is wrong — it absolutely isn’t — but it can pose a danger to the passion and adventure that is following Christ with our whole lives. When we first got married, our desire and plan (check out God’s response to human plans), was to serve the Lord overseas as full time missionaries. When God closed that door to us through our accident, our passion didn’t (and hasn’t) changed, but obviously the manifestation of it looks vastly different than what we expected. We’re so looking forward to having this house, and the physical comfort it will bring to us, we just know comfort can’t be the goal of our lives.

This video by Francis Chan really challenged our hearts about this whole idea of living for comfort as Christian parents, and what effects it could have on Nyra and any other kids the Lord might give us down the road. It would be worth your while to watch (it’s short, don’t worry).

We pray that as God in His wisdom and love chooses to give us things we like and things we don’t, we would be faithful to use and enjoy each of those gifts with wisdom and humility. May you do the same, not from a sense of duty, obligation or fear, but because the great pleasure and bliss in knowing Him far surpasses anything else!
 -Lane

Had a rough start this morning as one of Lane’s caregivers called in sick. We recognize sickness is inevitable, especially this time of the year (we just had the flu on Monday). Some days the reality of what’s before us simply hits us harder. My attitude and disappointment for having to cancel whatever I had planned that morning tends to always be worse than Lane’s disappointment for not getting 100% of the care he needs (an area I need to grow in, hugely grateful for his example/lead in this way). With family/friends in the area someone is almost always able to watch Nyra so I can focus on Lane, but some days simply getting everything arranged is more of a headache than taking longer as a family would be (sound familiar mom’s? ). Another caregiver ended up being able to come in for 2 hours before her classes began this am, so I was able to get Nyra around and run out to get a few things done. On the last stretch of my trip home a Granger truck happened to “appear” in front of me with a verse that God knew I would clearly need today….

“Look to the Lord and HIS strength; seek HIS face always.” Psalm 105:4

Why had taking on another day seemed so impossible in my near sighted, dimly lit eyes this morning? I was choosing to only look at the circumstances around me (that certainly can look dim & hopeless to those that  choose to dwell only on the here and now) rather than the unending reserve of the strength of my Lord. He alone desires to meet our complete dependency & weakness with HIS all sufficient strength…if we allow Him to!

The point of this post is not to gain pity but to give you an honest picture of the way some mornings roll and how you can be standing with us in prayer. Will you join us in praying that we’d fix our eyes above as we take on today? So thankful that what’s before us is not  only temporary but that we also have the perfect strength or our Lord to equip us for THIS moment. Oh that we’d reckon what’s ours in Him! Prayer for consistency with caregivers for our family’s sanity & normalcy would be a great thing too?As I close I’d like to share a quote that Lane recently brought up one of the many times we’ve discussed how quickly our hope and joy gets sapped as we dwell on our circumstances rather than our Creator. It’s a paraphrase of one of our favorite NTBI instructors, Mike Sullivan:

“A walk by sight is focused on self and circumstances, a walk by Faith is focused on Christ and His certain word.”

Emily

We got our first official stick-to-the-ground snow yesterday (in Mid Michigan at least). Also the first official snow to require shovels and windshield scrapers in order to safely leave our parking lot. Can I just say this is one more huge thing I’m looking forward to not doing (with having a garage) next Winter? Growing up I loved shoveling the driveway, scraping snow off my parents cars etc…but also had 5 siblings that were just as eager & able as I. I don’t say this desiring pity on any level, just being honest. Lane too is immensely grateful (probably more than I am) that this task will be taken off my list, yet another thing that he used to do without question. Some nights it’s too easy to sit and mentally count what we miss and would do about anything to have back for any amount of time. We know and recognize this is ok and 100% normal as long as it doesn’t lead to bitterness, discontent, or lack of trust in God’s much grander plan. Will you pray for us in this area tonight? We are so thankful that having a toddler brings a whole new beauty & wonder to this fascinating season, but it’s a hard one nonetheless.

Tomorrow is a BIG day. One we’ve been looking forward to for a long time. We meet with our general contractor aka mastermind, Tom Motz, and excavator to talk breaking ground. We are absolutely thrilled we’ve reached this point.

At the same time it’s a step of faith because we haven’t yet reached our end financial goal to complete the house. Just the other day as we were reviewing the floor plan/barrier free modifications and turning space needed for Lane’s Power wheelchair we realized there wasn’t enough room in the garage. After speaking with Tom & our floor designer Brian the best solution they found was adding 4 feet. It’s what will be necessary long term but it also means our project cost just increased by another $8,000.

We can’t express enough how grateful we are for each of your parts in getting us where we are today. Please don’t cease to pray for us. For contentment, peace, wisdom. And the ability to rest in the sufficient & perfect plan of our Father above all.

Fixing our eyes upward,
Emily (for Lane and Nyra too)